Brooklyn Bridge Brigade

Healthcare reform

2010-03-01T11:01:00.001-08:00

Here are my thoughts.... cause I know you are dying to read them lol

I think we all agree we need healthcare reform. GOP says we can't afford it. Dem's say we can't afford not to have it. Who's right? Who's wrong? Well both are right. We cannot afford NOT to do anything anymore. Healthcare costs are out of control!!! The GOP is right, how can we afford this after just now seeing a glimmer of light at the proverbial end of the tunnel?

Let me start with the Dems:
You had a 60 seat majority, why did you get NOTHING done? That was absurd! We didn't elect you to be nice to everyone and play house. We want you to do what you feel is in the best interest of your people. You screwed up when you said one thing and did another (the CSPAN camera talks will be used all of the next election). Take responsibility and move on. Grow some and let's get going! I'm tired of waiting folks. I'm tired of waiting. Pass with reconciliation and move on to a jobs bills....PRONTO!!!!!!

GOP:
While the Senate and House plans might not be what you want, they have a plan. Where is your counterpart? You sat in on some of those discussions on the floor, so don't give me lip about not getting a chance to input. The Pres. called a meeting with top officials, including YOU, and 3 days prior he released his idea of a plan. You came with props and wanted to argue about how you got there. I hate the connotation that Dems use for political talk saying you are the party of "NO", but when you say to the American public we will NOT vote unless we start over from scratch and wasted this past year, you are making these statements true. Don't get all pissy either when the word "reconciliation" is thrown out there. You used this process during bush for $1.8 trillion in tax cuts (estimated up to $4 trillion with interests) over 10 years when Healthcare Reform as the more expensive bill stands at $950 billion over 10 years. The gallup poll is BS! Yeah I said it! The poll on Jan 8, 2010 says 49% would vote yes or lean to yes while 46% vote no or lean to no. 6% no opinion. Is it close? yes but it doesn't support your opinion. Your opinions were heard. There will be an exchange, not a public option (GOP idea) and when a bill comes out to be voted on I'm sure there will be more. Stop your lying with saying public funds for abortions, Medicare benefits will be cut. These are 100% false (or we will see when a bill comes to light to vote on). And finally stop calling me Un-American, because I disagree with you. That is what America stands for...diversity! Shall we dive into the Bible, the basis of the GOP, and see what it says about helping others and being stubborn?

Wednesday the President will probably announce a timeline for health care. Thank you! Thank you for stepping up your game! Your bipartisan meeting was phenomenal! You ran the meeting as if you were the CEO, and guess what.... YOU ARE!!! Bravo! Don't lose momentum. You run this country and it's clearly it's working. The economy is growing! Job loss is dropping steadily! Even though you may not be a 2 term President, because basically Americans vote based on TV commercials, I see you trying. You may not be doing it all right, but I see the effort and thank you for it.

We as a country became selfish and got busted basically. We bought houses we couldn't afford, the average credit card debt was the highest it had ever been. Our elected officials spent money we couldn't afford with no sign of benefits or an end date. We did this! Stop blaming wall street and politicians. We spent more than we earned and we elected them into office. This is America, where our cocky attitudes trump what's right. As another election comes around I plan to pay attention. Not to the TV commercials, but only to what a candidate stands for. Don't fall into the chess game where buzz words and scare tactics coerse your political vote. Vote for who you feel will do what you want done!

It's not a matter of party so to say.....

2010-02-28T17:33:00.000-08:00

I don't need to reiterate my views, I'm pretty sure you know where I stand most of the time by now. I want to challenge you for a minute. Now, we have the ideals and principles we stand for and it's the diversity of our different views that make up the great country we live in.

So why do you think you are conservative or liberal? Republican or Democrat? or are you Independent?

I just took a gander at the two main websites. The GOP (which stands for the Grand Old Party btw. that's just funny to me) and the DNC. I was shocked at what I saw of the opening pages! One was a little scary, all I could do was sign a petition, and I felt it left me digging a lot to find actual details. The other was more informative. By that I mean what you could donate to Haiti, read about Black history month and sign up for updates with one click.

Think about who represents you. Be proactive! Don't sit back and complain, go out and do something. These Senators and Representatives are always campaigning to me in my mind.

re⋅spect [ri-spekt]

2010-01-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

I love to argue. If you know me you know I ALWAYS think I'm right and as I grow older I admit I have learned I'm wrong a lot more than right. Thank goodness for the internet and being able to google anything you could ever want.

I am Liberal. Shocker, I know. Eventually, I ended up not a fan of Bush, although I voted for him 1st term. I argued against it, I said mean things, but never once, at any point, would I say something so disrespectful as the following. I read this on facebook today and when I googled it..lol it is all over the place.

Dear Lord...in the past year, you have taken away my favorite actor (PatrickSwayze), my favorite actress (Farrah Faucet), my favorite musician(Michael Jackson), my favorite salesman (Billie Mays), and my favorite athlete (Chris Henry). I just wanted to let you know...my favorite President is Barack Obama.

Disagreements are where great debates begin and change happens. But wishing someone dead is beyond the scope of prayer, debates or even disagreements. Without going into the religion tone of which it is written, it's simply just wrong.

You gotta have faith, faith, faith....

2010-01-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

Nothing like a little George Michael to get you going in the morning. lol

If you read about my new years 5 year plan you saw on there I want to find a church. A church - the people not the building. Everyone has their own opinions of what a church is. We call a building of worship the church, but the bible defines it as the body. Regardless I want to find a place to connect with other Christians who are supportive and happy to be alive (which isn't always the case, let's be honest.)

I was raised to have a strong faith and I thank my parents for that. That is a huge part of where my morals were defined and who I am as a person overall. But I have seen the dark sides of churches. As a child, I grew up in a RLDS church. That's a branch of Mormon if you are unfamiliar with the terms. I remember being happy and always at church, but have one image that overwhelms the rest of them. It was around the late 80's and there were some disagreements with our church and the headquarters in Independence, MO. From what I understand (I was pretty young) there was a conference coming up and there were female instructors. Our church didn't believe that women belonged in the priesthood. So they refused. This ticked off headquarters and they came down to basically take over the church. I remember the last time we went on a Sunday. I remember these people beginning services from the pulpit and then shortly after our past and elders came out and sat in chairs in front of them. It became a 3rd grade contest of who can talk to the loudest. IT was simply awful. We stopped going to church at that point.

I began attending my grandmother's Baptist church after and enjoyed it. MY parents didn't go but it was in distance for me to walk to. Something that amazed me in my lifetime was the fact that my grandparents on my dad's side always went to different churches every Sunday. My grandfather went to the RLDS and my grandmother the Bible Baptist. The didn't let faith interfere in their marriage and lives. The believed in a common ground and attended both church's functions. They just agreed to disagree because faith is personal to each individual.

If only Conservative Christians would stop judging others and Liberal Democrats would not generalize Christians as crazy. Will we ever meet in the middle?

A daily affirmation...

2010-01-12T19:41:00.001-08:00

So I find myself re-energized into my work again. Whether it's a mindset, or a store change or for the short period of time where I had the freedom to try new things, regardless it's different and I'm different. I still have a long way to go and continue to learn more every day. When you stop learning, you need to change jobs.

Improvements:
I continually struggle with dealing with a different management then my own. Currently I am in a situation where my manager has a dictatorship style management skill and I find myself getting distracted. Whether he is right or wrong it's about improving the business and we all should be open to ideas. It just reminds me of an old boss I had once that was very military and always micro-managed. It's not fair to my new manager to associate him with those generalizations and I need to respect the business.

Lessons learned:

Your employees are your most viable asset. If they don't do well, you don't do well as a business. So listen intently to not just what they are saying, but also what their body is telling you. I know I have a hard time not having favorites of those that remind me of myself. You just naturally connect with them and easy to give more praise, but you have to be equal to everyone.

Keep your door open. Everyone is not on the same intellectual level, but everyone knows the business well enough to offer their ideas. Snowballs (ideas with a simple concept that grow) are the key to major players in the game.

Building trust. Nothing angers me more than when someone asks me to do something because they don't want to do it. Never ask your employees to do something you wouldn't do. If there is a cleaning schedule, roll up your sleeves and scrub those toliets too on occassion. It doesn't demote you in their eyes...trust me.

Let people make mistakes as long as they learn from them, then you are doing your job. Moving to the next level is everyone's goal (big or small). If they don't feel like that then you don't need them, they are there for the wrong reasons.

Take time to tell personal stories. It shows you care and gives insight that you are a real person. Plus if you can make someone laugh or smile while they are at work then they perform 75% more. Check out the research.

Is paranoia really where we've come?

2010-01-08T04:41:00.000-08:00

I was on the train after a meeting for work heading back to my store. I was 1 stop away and look to my right to notice a homeless guy passed out, but in the seat between us a black briefcase all alone. I honestly panicked a little franticly pounding on the MTA's door until someone lady came out. I told her there is an abandoned bag. She calmly said oh I'll get it when we get to the end of the stop. Me, with my loud mouth said "Well I'm glad I'm getting off at the next stop."

I thought the worst when I saw it ended up having a laptop and before our next stop the person who left it had already called it in, so they grabbed it. But it made me take a deep look at myself.

My 2014 resolutions......

2010-01-06T05:10:00.001-08:00

So basically I am making a list of 10 things I want to do in the next year. A friend of mine, told me about this idea her sister did and literally put it on her fridge. As she accomplished them they got crossed off one by one. I like this idea and while some may be extreme I have 5 years to figure out how to do them.

1. Visit friends in London and Australia. I always say I will go and never do anything towards that. I don't even have a passport yet, so clearly we know what the first step is.

2. Buy my first house. I've always rented and that's worked for me, but it's time to grow up a little and plant my feet somewhere, where ever the good Lord takes me.

3. Build a family of which will consist of probably another dog and adopt a child. Now this will come down the road closer to the 5 years or 10 maybe rather than tomorrow side of the list but I'm throwing it out there. This also includes getting married, but as it stands right now that is pretty limited to a handful of states. I think 5 years will change that though.

4. Go to Puerto Rico. I'm not sure why just yet, but I have always wanted to go and so I'm going to do it in the next 5 years.

5. Find a church that I feel comfortable in. I have completely lost faith in the church community. That doesn't mean I've lost faith in general. I am a devout Christian, but I've seen the hate spew from the pulpit. Just to clarify I'm not talking about how the church feels on the gay issues. I'm talking about watching churches turn their backs on people in crisis because they didn't want to be associated with them. Isn't that what a church is suppose to do? Support you in a time of need and help further your faith? Sorry I got a little soap box there.

6. Improve the quality of life for those around me. Donate more to charities. Whether it's to a bell ringer at Christmas or a girl scout selling cookies, or simply my time helping Seniors get into college, I can and will do more. Everyone needs to pay back society. It's just good karma folks.

7. Working on my cookbook. Yeah, i threw it out there. I love to cook and i decided in 2009 to start writing these recipes I make myself down into a cookbook. I figure in 5 years I should be 50% or more through with it.

8. Become a better communicator with my friends and family. I do okay right now but not stellar. So while I realize life has taken me away from monthly birthday get togethers or Sunday dinners after church, it could be so much more. Nothing is more important than your support system and i want to keep them around for a while lol.

9. Financially, I want to grow my retirement fund so that I can retire sooner than expected. I've worked hard to get it to where it is and I'm proud of it, but it's a focus for me.

10. Don't strangle anyone. Hey, I need something I can count on 100%

What are your goals for 2010? or even 2014?

Goodbye 2009, but before you go..........

2010-01-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me yesterday what my New Year's Resolution is for 2010. At first my response was a little bs and just simply said I'm just going to enjoy life more. That's not entirely true though. I have a compulsion to making goals. It's the competitive spirit of which I BREATHE! It's just how I function and the way I wired. Regardless it got me thinking of this past year and I thought I'd do a recap to help me set my goals for 2010. I'm going to break it down for ya (thanks to Chicago for the idea)

Family:
My grandmother got sick this year. Another hernia, of which she's had multiple surgeries for already. We have been searching for a surgeon who will even do the surgery and that's been the struggle, but we have progress and it looks like we found a Surgeon at KU Medical, which is close to my mom. Keep her in your prayers.

My Brother continues to amaze me every day. He has lost over 50 lbs this past year and continues his journey. He lives in his own apartment in Grandview and enjoys life to the fullest. If everyone showed 1/5 of the love and forgiveness that people with Downs Syndrome showed the world would be a great place to live in.

My mom, her husband Sam and my brother came out around July 4th. First time my brother had been on a plane and the first time they had been to NYC. It was nice to see them finally. They had a good time, the busy-ness of Canal St was too much for my mother, but they were sports and had a great time!

Project Hotdog: was my approach to my father and I's relationship. While things still aren't 100% they are better and he is slowly coming around. I flew to STL and we went to a Cardinals game in September and had a great time. It was nice just to be with us.

My cousin Carol has apparently redecorated her house, which i am excited to see and meet her new beau as well. I miss my cooking Sundays, and our glasses of wine that always ended up in bottles of wine conversations.

Lastly, my aunt went through an awful wreck and home change, but according to my mom they finally have a beautiful place that just suits them.

Friends:
I was able to see my friends back home a couple times in 2009. I don't know what I would do without them. Sure I have found friends here whom I cherish, but it's those lifetime friends you never forget. They are my rock when I just need some grounding. I love my family dearly but you should always surround yourself with friends who will tell you the truth, no matter if you get your feelings hurt.

Work:
For the first 3/4 of the year I wanted to be in non-profit again. I finally realized it just wasn't time yet and that I'm very content with where I am. So moving forward...once KYle graduates then the process will begin again. I did move stores recently in December to what I feared would be a rough situation. I loved my last team dearly, but I was welcomed with open arms and it's been a positive change for me and them.

Kody/new apt:
Yes he gets his own section. We had moved downstairs to the main floor August 1 simply because it is bigger and has direct access to the backyard. I took the first week off to unpack, decorate and simply make it home for us. Best thing I ever did! Soon after I began looking for dogs. Kyle continuously knocked down my ideas, but if you know me, I don't give up and always get what I want. So I found an ad on craigslist for 2 dachshunds in NJ. When I spoke to her about the male the owner was very eager for me to meet them. So I just told Kyle when he got home that I was going to Jersey to see a dog and if he doesn't bite me he's coming home. To be fair he simply said, you know I don't want this, but I'm not going to stop you. It was the best decision of 2009. He is the love of our lives and the joy in my heart. Yes I have become that person who loves their pet like it's a child and quite frankly he is our child right now. After only about 3 weeks of training he was house broken and kennel trained. He feels very loved and his personality is like no other. EVERYONE who meets him, just loves him.

Love:
Kyle and I are better than ever. While we had a couple months in 2009 that could have been make or break, it was worth it. I am firm believer in sticking with it and it paid off. I have never been more happy with someone in my life and I look forward to the years to come!

I felt before I set goals for 2010 I needed to remember 2009.

Don't forget to wear sunscreen by Mary Schmich

2010-01-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

A new look to 2010!

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

A big possibility today

2009-11-10T06:21:00.000-08:00

So Governor Patterson is pushing the NY State Senate to put a vote on legalizing same sex marriage today. There's still a good chance it won't even come to a vote, but it's still out there.

As I was reading about it online, I ran across some opposition websites. I have to admit I used to read these website to get fired up. A lot of times they are simply emotional based and typically uneducated people stating things such as "Gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage" or "GOD made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve". I am fortunate to be one of those people who is maturing with age. Sure, I have an inner child and I enjoy life itself but stuff like this doesn't fuel the fire anymore.

I think the same sex advocates are going at this completely wrong, similar to government. Let me break it down for you.... If the President wants something to pass Congress he needs a majority vote. If he's a few votes shy what does he do? He finds those fence riders and offers them something if he gets their vote. Simply put he buys them off. He's not the only one all of Congress does this. BUT if he needs a lot of votes what does he do? He goes to the people...the voters and asks for help.

Who is against same sex marriage? Churches and African Americans. So since these two are our main targets why do we hit the streets of NY per say the Chelsea area. I see people on the street asking for support all the time in these area. It's great, but it's time we grow a pair and step up to the game. Thank you Gov. Patterson for pushing NY in a new direction! I hope that at the end of this day New York has stood up and said, "Everyone should have the same rights!"

Opposition sites if you need that fire: Dr. James Dobson on how same sex marriage leads to beastiality, poligamy and incest.

Just a little tie cutting.....

2009-09-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

First thing...True Blood. Biggest disappointment to date. Overall just a crappy way to end a season. It was evident these writers take a few episodes to get the the season going but to end on a note like that?

VMA's. I realize everyone is in a tissy, but I can't help but think MTV and the idiot (whom shall remain nameless) are both famous for pulling stunts at award shows. It's what they do and it works for them. MTV will never look bad for doing this and the idiot will be all over the news for the next week. It's a win win. Any press is good press. If MTV wasn't behind it I challenge them to ban him from any future award shows. See how that goes.

Lastly, I need to talk political. Shocking I know. Michelle. I like you. I like your husband. I enjoy listening to him speak and take comfort in seeing him as a role model for young people as an intellectual, inspiring and overall healthy person. I am talking directly to you because you are what I feel is our only hope left. Sure it's only been 9 months and I could accept that BUT.... your husband has yet to jump head first into anything. He's like that old Reece's commercial where the lady would nibble around the edges, but I need your husband to dive in. We have nothing to regulate our commerce and banking systems. We have no health care plan just ideas and craziness stirring around. Bill Maher called the President out for not stepping up his game and he has a valid point. The economy is turning and I appreciate, but I need you to really pull your husband aside. Slap him around a little, and get him back on track. It's okay if he pisses a few people off, but it's time he begins to dig deep into his campaign promises. It's time to for him to begin his legacy rather than leaving the coward. I'm rooting for him, but he needs to put himself out there and be a leader. I'm not sure if you've seen the West Wing, but something similar to the scene where Abby cuts the President's tie right before he goes on stage. That's all I ask to get him on track.

Dakota's coming to story

2009-09-02T19:58:00.001-07:00

So I have clearly become one of "those" dog owners who posts their pics on facebook. I figured I should probably tell you how he came to us.

I responded to a craigslist ad about a dachshund for adoption. We emailed back and forth. She said she took a trip to Georgia and saw him at a shelter. He was just skin and bones. He was a stray and was on the kill list for the morning. Her being a dog lover she couldn't let that happen so she paid the $50 to get him out and took him in.

So I made an appointment to meet him last Saturday. Mind you she lives in Edgewater, New Jersey. For those non-New Yorkers, Manhattan is easy to get around in. Brooklyn isn't as easy but just fine. Jersey is a whole other story. It took me 3 trains and bus ride to get there. After 1.5 hours of travel it was love at first site. He ran right up to me and started giving me kisses. We played and everything was fine. So we brought him home. She only had him a week so all he has is his rabies shot, but that's fine with us.

How can anyone do this to any pet? At least he has a good home now.

My furry little friends.....

2009-08-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago I was outside and saw three raccoons. Yes raccoons just walking about the streets of Brooklyn scavenging for food.

Well I bought groceries a couple days ago. Put them away like normal. Yesterday I wake up and was about to make a sandwich. Only the ENTIRE loaf of bread is gone. Kyle assumes I'm crazy and they never delivered it with the groceries. I distinctly remember putting it on the shelf in the pantry. So I look everywhere and it's nowhere to be found.

This morning Kyle was getting ready and asked me to make him a bagel, of which we both ate one yesterday morning. I go to the pantry and guess what.....entire package of bagels gone again.

Now at this point, either:
1. I'm just crazy, we all know there's a little truth to that.
2. Someone is breaking into our apartment at night and stealing our baked goods.
3. Kyle has a bread fetish and won't admit to it.
4. We have critters.

I take a deep look and sure enough the bagel wrapper is down in this hole at the bottom of the pantry. So I spent the afternoon boarding the hole up. I thought I moved out of the country!

Well it didn't happen

2009-08-06T09:16:00.001-07:00

I got an email this morning. She just said they are going to continue their search and wished me well. So back to the drawing board again. I guess it just means something bigger is out there!

The interview........

2009-08-01T19:06:00.001-07:00

I had my in person interview with the Glen Cove Club yesterday. It went very very well. I think she was a little shocked with the knowledge of the clubs and the experience I have under my belt. The club is good sized, but needs some work. We all know I love a little project. She said she would let me know by Friday either way, so the week of waiting.....

Can't we all just get along?

2009-07-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

Two things....

1. People stop saying "Government Run Healthcare" I want to vomit every time. It's an option for the 50 million people to get health care they don't have right now! Read it before you open your mouth.

2. If it passes it won't take affect till 2013. If in 30 years we become a government run healthcare, is it really that bad? Our Veterans seem to benefit from it currently.

Inspiration

2009-07-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

So I don't talk much about my faith. I do that for a specific reason. It's between me and GOD, it has nothing to do with anyone else. People just assume that because I'm a homosexual I steer clear of the churches. While lately I have steered clear of the building of churches, my faith continues to grow. GOD continues to work in my life daily.

Most of you know my passion for non-profits and youth work. It's what I know and love! I took a sabbatical from the field, which was amazing. My passion and desire was burning me out and I needed to hit the reset button. I felt this passion begin to grow again, but I pushed back. It's clear now that this is the time. While I have an interview coming up, I realize this may or may not be the place for me. That is out of my control. What I'm talking about is getting back in the game and what brought me here.

I mentioned getting all of that training and program stuff in the mail on the day I had the phone interview. Today topped it all. I was reading just laying in bed and I get a phone call from a 417 number. It wasn't in my phone so I answer. It was an old club kid telling me he just had his first child. He was a proud dad and should be. I am proud of the man he is today. But then he continued to talk about his job and how he's come up so quickly in it. He went on and on and then at the end he said, "Thank you!" I asked why? I had nothing to do with his success. His reply, "What you taught me at the clubs is what I teach my employees today. I immediately began to cry. What a prolific moment and a much needed one as well.

GOD is good, all the time. All the time, GOD is good!

FYI run out and get the book called The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. It will change your life! Thank you brother Jon!

And it came.....

2009-07-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

I got the call a few minutes ago and I have an in person interview next Friday!

I have not mentioned after my interview on Wednesday we got a package in the mail from Kyle's mom. Just some of our stuff we left and in it was most of my old Boys & Girls Club Programming and training I developed. If that wasn't a sign I don't know what is.

Keep praying!

Update.......

2009-07-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

An update:

My phone interview went well I feel. It was a simple screening interview and only lasted 20 minutes. I got to say what I wanted and they said they would let me know by Friday if they want to do a personal interview. Keep your fingers crossed!

Throwing my hat back into the ring.......

2009-07-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

I occasionally check job openings on craigslist.org and idealist.org for non-profit jobs. Yesterday, I took a gander at the Boys & Girls Clubs website to see what was going on there. The top of the list....a job in Long Island right in my category! I applied and within 2 hours had an email wanting a phone interview. So Wednesday afternoon I will be screened over the phone as an applicant back into the non-profit world. Keep your fingers crossed and I am READY to do what I was made for!!!!!!

Just a quick follow up......

2009-07-10T12:08:00.001-07:00

I received an amazing email from my dad today in response to mine. I won't go into the details, but it's a huge step for both of us. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.

Looking through the fishbowl.......

2009-07-09T04:55:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm crazy....ok so I know I'm a little crazy, but I'm noticing the ads on tv against health care. I know politics is a cruel world and it's definitely coming from both ends. I can't help but notice the opposition ads from conservatives. It just reminds me of the person, and everybody knows who this person is....(if you don't then it's probably you :-P). That person who coughs once or has a little sneeze and now they have swine flu.

July is the official Reunion month....

2009-07-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

Or so it has always been in my family. We usually gathered around the lake somewhere at the end of June, beginning of July for as many summers as I can remember. Well this year was different, my family came to see me in NY instead. I had a great week! It was the first time I've seen my brother and mom since I left last August (so nearly a year) and we had a GREAT time!

Lots of sightseeing and touristy things of nature. My brother was hilarious. He wasn't too sure of Kyle, he just kept staring at him at first not knowing what to think, but warmed up after a couple games of Wii bowling. I miss having my family close by, but we stay in good touch and I think they'll be out more since they realized it wasn't too crazy in NYC.

With that being said, I sit here now thinking about my dad. He's not quite there yet with me, and it's our family tradition to just ignore things we don't like and pretend all is well in the "Cleaver" homestead. It's been nearly two years since he's known and hasn't made an effort yet. I understand change is not comfortable and everyone needs some time, but I don't want to miss out. I am going to try to write him one more time to see if he wants to be a part of my life, he can't just have half of me. I have a great life now with someone I truly love and treats me well. Don't get me wrong he still calls occasionally and takes my calls as well, but it's just an unspoken part of my life that I don't want it to be UNSPOKEN. So if you pray, pray for him. Pray that he comes to terms with this and can move forward.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!

You can take someone out of the small town, but you can't take the small town of certain people

2009-05-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

This week was a bit of a "supreme" political week, with the Supreme Court nominee and the California Supreme Court ruling on Prop 8, when really the best thing would have been to just run for the border and get a taco supreme.

Well someone who I was facebook friends with made their status a bit bold. It stated "GOD created Adam and Eve not Adam And Steve....." Now by the time I read it there were a few blasting this individual and a couple pro just to be fair. Of course it got my blood flowing at first. After milling a few ideas around and cooling off a bit, I responded with a blanket statement saying this is my fight not yours and it's my obligation to convince you. So why do you believe the way you do? A day went by and no response. Now let me take you back a little and give you a history lesson. This person and I are not close. We are mere high school acquantences and arguably both just did what most do and add people from your high school on here. We fuss at each other and have varying views on a lot of subject. After discussing it with my lovely friend Keri in Japan I realize there is nothing lost in just deleting this person as my friend. We don't care enough about each other to stay in contact and speaking for me it only raises my blood pressure when this person speaks, so I did it. About three hours later I get an email.

Now mind you I felt I kept my cool, but after hearing the words immature I knew I had to stand up and say what was on my mind. Here is the conversation. I deleted the names to be somewhat tactful.

Please though, if you have an opposing view, and would like to have an intellectual conversation about this debate I am willing and able!

Billy,
I wanted to personally email you and tell you that I don't have anything against gay people in general. I am a strong believer in the Lord above and I'm sorry that religious beliefs go as a union being between a man and woman. If it offends some okay. But, I know I'm standing by what I've always stood for and I'll be able to answer for everything I've done. I have many friends that I have worked and traveled with all the time that are gay. Yes, I made some of my best friends and had a great time with them but, at the same time they respected that I didn't believe the same as them. Do I think everyone should have a Love, YES!! But, I can't change my beliefs just because I have friends that believe that way. That would make me a follower, and that I'm not!!! I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. I just wanted to tell you that's how I think. Believe me I know about rights and freedoms because my husband defends the right for everyone of this great nation and I'll never take that forgranted. But, while you have your opinion, which I fully respect I also expect the same from all of you. It's a sad thing that almost all that are for it want us to respect their opinion they can't respect the opinion of those who are against it. I noticed you deleted me and by all means if that's what you want to do fine. Although, I feel as though it's an immature thing to do because of my opinion that wasn't in agreement upon yours.

Sincerely,

Jane Doe

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane Doe:

I appreciate your personal response, but my decision to delete you was something I had contemplated for a long time. So our opinions disagree that's not why I came to my conclusion. It was simply a mind over matter conclusion.

My friends might differ on lots of opinions, but the ones I keep around are interested in discussing it as adults. They are interested in what the other thinks and why. They don't offer up vague theories and make them fact in their mind or make assumptive and at times prejudice statements (such as when you called Obama a rag head last fall). They genuinely care about the opposite idea enough to listen with an open mind.

Speaking on the issue at hand, reading your response a few times I just don't see what validity there is. You are doing what so many people do time and time again. Picking and choosing certain scriptures and ignoring others. If you are speaking from a Christian view then here is my rebuttal. If you are speaking form a different perspective then I will apologize ahead of time, because mine is purely a Christian one.

GOD not only made Adam and Eve, but he ALSO made Steve. Everyone is made in GOD's image. You will find 4 scriptures directly speaking to homosexuality in the Old Testament. The most common one being Lev 18:22. Mind you Ex 35:2 clearly says you should be put to death for working on the Sabbath. Haven't we all done that? Are you going to sell your child into slavery once he or she gets old enough? Ex 21:7. Jesus, who was brought to Earth for two reasons. To show us how to live our lives according to faith and to pay the price for our sins. Jesus never once talked about homosexuality.

I do ask one thing that directly affects you and your husband. Imagine how all those homosexual soldiers feel that they can never share an award ceremony. They don't get the medical benefits or access you receive as a military spouse. It's offered because of the sacrifice and dedication you give in support of your husband, but domestic partners don't get that right because people like you say your personal faith is more important than their rights.

Could you say I do the same thing as you sometimes with as bold of statements? Absolutely, but I have the knowledge to back up mine. I realized you don't want to know my thoughts behind something. It appears as though you just want to argue to argue or get a rise out of someone. I don't value that as a friend and with that I wish you the best. Please pass along my gratitude to yours and your husbands efforts in protecting us all.

God Bless,

Billy

Was it harsh? Yeah it was, but I don't regret it at any point. I believe what I believe not because someone told me to. Not because it's all I know, but because I learned about it on my own and made a decision myself. That, Jane Doe, is what a true leader does. You listen, learn then decide.

Back to Square One?

2009-05-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

California Supreme Court ruled to uphold Prop 8.

Am I shocked? Nope.
Am I disappointed? a bit.
Am I angry? not at all.

Why, you ask?

Because we simply started a fight we are passionate for that we weren't ready to fight. Before you get all upset, please listen to what I have to say, it's important!

Let's look at the strategies.
Against same sex marriage- In California for instance they got signatures, got in on the ballot and did what successful political groups do. They used scare tactics into people. They used anti-thoughts of "sanctity of marriage" and "traditions" as a tool for pushing their beliefs onto others. They followed the system and used it to their advantage.
Pro same sex marriage - In California and other states, we tried to use the courts instead of the democratic process as our tool for pushing our beliefs onto others.

It's clear I'm not against same sex marriage. Personally, it's ridiculous to think we, "the leaders of the free world" are liberating places like Iraq for instance, yet our own citizens do not carry the same liberties. We as a whole define and classify citizens and pass out "what is deemed" appropriate afflictions.

So who do we blame for Prop 8?
Sure it's hypocritical for a church to turn they backs on homosexuals. Not all do, but it's a clear majority there are hypocritical Churches funding the fight against same sex marriage?........or.................

Ourselves for not educating people, for crying about it and getting angry then going to bed, getting up the next day onto our everyday life and simply bitching instead of doing. ITS OUR FIGHT! It's the heart of what democracy entails. If you don't like something it's your burden to educate and fight. We need to learn the system better and realize where we can slide into and out of. For lack of cheesiness "If you're not a part of the solution then you are a part of the problem" We need to organize better, become unison, get people involved that can lead us and be our voice and face. Who is our face and voice? I can't say I know.

So go ahead and be angry or upset tonight, but when tomorrow comes and you do nothing to better the cause then you, my friend, are just as much of the problem and nothing of the solution.

My day tomorrow, will be registering to vote in NY. (I kept mine in Missouri for the Presidential Election).
My day tomorrow, will be starting with a letter to my State Legislature.
My day tomorrow, will be finding out what organizations are in my area where I can help the fight.

What will your tomorrow consist of?

My Story, looking back......

2009-05-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

So I wanted to share my story. This is more of a release for me, rather than an educational piece.

The background -
A very important piece. I grew up in a SMALL town, with a population of 113. I went to the same school my father and grandfather went to. My last name was well known and I never had to fight to be with the "cool kids". We spent our Sundays like every other Cleavers. We went to church (a RLDS aka a version of Mormon) then had Sunday dinner at Grandma & Grandpa's. Usually either taking a Sunday drive in the Suburban, playing board games or Singing around the piano. Yes, these are all very very true statements. I had a near perfect childhood. My parents didn't divorce till I was 17 so life was your typical Midwest family.

The near present-
Basically, this is my religious argument for Gay Marriage Rights. First, I realize the miseducation that still occurs. I don't mean to pick on my father but a classic example. When I came out to him, one of his concerns was for my health mainly AIDS. In his mind, only homosexuals got AIDS. That's how it developed. Thankfully my step-mother who is an RN stepped in to clarify that issue. The Gay Rights Advocates need to realize we have to spend time educating America if they want equal rights. Sure, it doesn't make any sense that Conservative's only arguments are religion in "the land of the free". But it is what it is and we have to work with our surroundings. I read some online arguments against this issue. Mostly pastors and priests preaching against it. I will admit, I have never been in a church where the pastor preached against homosexuality. (maybe I'm just lucky) These pastors and priests take one scripture and interpret such ambiguities into it.

For example, take the scripture

1 Corinthians 6:9 (King James Version)
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.

Biblical Arguments Against Gay Marriage
by Pastor Jim Feeney, Ph.D.

1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

(1) God defines homosexual offenders as among “the WICKED.”

• Ephesians 5:11, KJV And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

• The Christian’s duty is to reprove, not to ignore, that which God calls wicked.

(2) God lists “homosexual offenders” among those who HE determines will “not inherit the kingdom of God.”

• No “TOLERANCE” there. No bowing at the altar of “DIVERSITY” there.

• No endorsement from heaven of homosexual churches there.

• No platitudes about the LOVE of God embracing all lifestyles and behaviors, including gay marriages.

When I read that I just don't see the interpretation. I am going to leave that one up to you. If you are against gay-marriage then that is your right, but is it your right to interfere with mine? Do you get to choose what rights I get to have and don't have? If so, I didn't realize I should just hand over my checking account and send my bills to you so you can decided what I get to do with my money and what I don't. Do I get to go to the grocery store with you, or should I just wait for you to give me my "honey do" list? (wait that might infer you would be a homosexual too, let me rephrase my to do list).

One of the other points I read in these articles include there is no research to show homosexuals should raise children. In fact these articles preach over and over that a child needs a mother and a father and go on to say they need their biological parents. Really? the divorce rate is over 40%, that's nearly half! Yes, I've read the sarcastic reasons why gays shouldn't marry. It's humorous and points out the ridiculousness. I got a little off topic, but my point being is how can you create data when states like Arkansas bans gays from adopted children, and a majority of the states don't recognize same sex marriage? You can't create data when there is no data to collect.

So this leaves me with the conclusion that we need to educate. One of the things I told my father after coming out was I am the same Billy I was 5 minutes ago. The only thing that's changed is in your mind. It was harsh, but true and let me point out the fact he still loves me. This actually helped our relationship.

I challenge you to do one of two things.

1. If you are on my side try to educate someone who might not understand. My generation doesn't remember the segregation of the 60's, but our parents and their parents do. The world had a lot of hate, and they surpassed that. The battle is still ongoing, but hey we have a minority as a President so we've obviously moved in the right direction.

2. If you are opposed, then challenge me. Sure, it's my fight, but I want to hear your point of view and see where you are coming from.

I will leave with this video. While its a hidden dig at Dr. Laura, it is one of the greatest moments in TV.

Grateful

2009-04-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

Christians around the globe celebrate today as the token of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Agnostic and even Atheist, today if nothing else remember forgiveness.

Life should be without regrets. People disappoint us, as well as please us. While I find myself struggling with attending an organized religion my faith doesn't leave my soul. In fact, I feel I've had to dedicate more of myself to it. I've grown a lot on my faith, with obvious road blocks that are not coherent to traditional standards.

I just hope if something or someone is heavy on your heart you find it in yourself to move past that and reach out to them. Life is way too short to be stubborn and express lack-luster love.

Happy Easter!

Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?

2009-04-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

Remember seeing those cheesy quotes in your schools as a young one? I am going to make this argument a non-religious one. If you want to argue religion and homosexuality with me, I am ready any day just let me know. This one is not from that perspective. Feel free to leave your comments. They are much appreciated.

1. Thank you IOWA for just putting it out there again. Prop 8 was a huge blow to equal rights, but you put some courage back into our fire.

2. Vermont, to be honest I hold a higher standard and feel slightly disappointed. You were the first out of the gate to break the mold then sat on your laurels until now? This should have happened a long time ago, but we are glad you are in it for the long haul now. Welcome to the game.

3. DC, baby steps are still steps.

Watch out for all of those H8ters out there. I hope you realize it's not about the demise of marriage or family. Straight people, take some ownership in this, you did it!
You broke the family by being greedy and having both parents work so much they leave nothing for the home.
You broke the family by using the television to bond instead of the dinner table.
You broke the family by living beyond your means.
You broke the family by drugging your children instead of disciplining them.

So when you go to the poll to vote no on equal marriage rights in what ever state you live in, no more excuses about how homosexuals will destroy families and should not be allowed to raise children. You have no more room to talk. It's time to fill your heart with love and allow everyone to do the same.

Back to life, back to reality

2009-04-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

Well it's been over two weeks now and still nothing about the job I interviewed for. I began searching back on craigstlist and idealist.org again. I just find this situation frustrating. When you have two people interviewing, one gets it and one doesn't. Is it really that hard to just shoot an email or ring the person up to say, "Hey, we went a different direction, but good luck in your search." It's just a common courtesy. I mean you fly us across the country then tell us you will get back to us in about a week.

Yea this is just a gripe session, well it could be worse.

Talking about worse, Republican it's time someone says this. It's day 72 of President Obama's term. Settle down! You may not agree with every decision he makes, good that is your job. Your job is not to bitch and moan about every breath and detail. Stop acting like children and admit that we tried your policies the past 8 years and guess what? We ended up in financial ruins and brought the rest of the world with us. So I dunno, let's try something new. Let's be BOLD and step out in unchartered waters and head in a new direction.

Wasn't it nice to not hear smut being reported, well until this past week when "Allegedly" (for all you Kathy G fans) a tape is being sold containing Ashley Biden say the, oh no! (f word), like you've never heard it or said it amongst friends before. and she's doing lines of coke. I just find it odd that the lawyer who was trying to push the tape decided to drop the client for fear of bad publicity. And the only people running the story is the New York Post. If you want the real truth I'm sure you will see the "full" story the next time you are checking out at the grocery store as well as where the aliens were this week and Elizabeth Taylor's 43rd wedding plans. I read some comments from blogs and online reporting agencies about this issue. It's pretty divided of course, but what gets me is when people compare it to Phelps. Let me break it down for you.....
1. Phelps got caught smoking weed, yet worked with anti-drug associations and campaigns.
2. Biden has yet to be confirmed in the tape, nobody has seen it yet. Even the smut-ridden NY Post turned it down.
3. The seller wanted $2 million and has dropped his price to $250,000. Hmmmmmm That, in my mind, puts him in the same category as the guy who sued McDonald's because the dude spilled coffee in his lap and it was HOT! He just wants money.
4. God forbid the journalist actually report news instead of rumors.

Republican, start coming across the line, we own the West Wing, the House and the Senate (and some banks at this point). Quit voting down every idea just because you didn't come up with it first! If you want us to take you seriously, stop singing songs like "Barack the magic Negro" and idolizing Rush Limbaugh as your voice and face. This is all you got? Really?

A big....BIG weekend coming up

2009-03-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

So I have only 4 days until I see my friends and it can't come at a better time. I love my life in NY and with Kyle, but to stay healthy I need that friend time and he could use some alone time (as lovely as I am to have all the time).

The plans are in the works. I'm sure Carol has been looking at recipe books in her spare time. Hell, she probably bought some at a garage sale somewhere, as if she needs any more books let along cook books. Friends are making plans. I was hoping for a bit of a calm Saturday night, but Megatron texted me to inform me the pub crawl is Saturday...so readjust and move forward. Like a pub crawl is a bad thing to work in and around!

Then it's the interview on Tuesday in Oakland for this new job possibly. No, again the job is NOT in Cali, it's here in NY the organization is based in Cali. So I hope to see some faces I've missed. Make new memories! and get a NEW job all this weekend!

FYI the pics I posted are for some who understand, for the rest.....It's a St Patty's Day tribute.

I got the call today.......

2009-03-04T06:51:00.000-08:00

So I mentioned in my last blog I had that second interview with a non-profit based in Oakland, CA, but starting up a new chapter here in NY. None of my references had been called and it had been over a week, so I threw that idea out with the wash. Until.....I was doing the wash yesterday and my phone rings. It was them wanting me to come out for the final interview. They are bringing me out to Oakland to see the program. I had the balls enough to ask how many candidates were interviewing and it's down to just two of us. I was obviously excited! Then it hit me. They want me out there March 17th.

Now I have a trip planned to see my friends and get some final things scheduled for March 13-16. So a moment of panic hit me trying to figure it all out, but have no fear, I pulled off both. So wish me luck!

Life in the Fast Lane

2009-03-02T05:59:00.001-08:00

I need to use today as my confessional. I'm not Catholic, but it's still liberating to let some things off your chest.

1. My gyms workouts are going well. I missed a couple of days and today it has snowed about 5 inches so far and the wind is up to 40mph gusts, so it's unlikely my chicken ass is walking the 7 blocks to the gym. I do feel better about myself. I had worked so hard to lose the weight last time and then I let myself go again. I am not back as big as I was before but I still need to drop about 15-20 to be back in the game. I am confident I can do it again.

2. I haven't been the nicest person to be around lately. This one is mainly for Kyle. I know exactly what it is. I need a break. I need a break from NYC, I need a break from Kyle, I need to go home and visit my friends, have a beer, make some memories and talk about old times. At first, I felt guilty about wanting this. Living with someone has made me realize this is the essence of sanity, mini-personal vacations. I'm sure he needs me to leave as much as I need to go. lol

3. My job hunt, T-Mobile is a GREAT company to work for. They have amazing insurance and benefits, but it's just not for me. There is no passion for me about selling someone a cell phone they may not be able to afford. It's not the same as helping a teen fill out job applications, or helping a family how to manage their finances, or seeing a child do their homework every day and then bring home a higher grade on their report card. These were daily times working with kids in non-profits and I deeply miss that interaction and impact. I had a job interview a couple weeks ago, then a second interview a week ago Friday. It's been a week and my references haven't been checked so at this point I'm assuming they went a different route. So back to the drawing board again!

So as I read over this, I see some good things. I have a huge desire to be happier, healthier and I've become much more wiser.

And FYI that pic of the statue is from my house. Yes directly the view from my house, so for that I AM thankful!

What does PTO really mean?

2009-02-24T06:15:00.000-08:00

Alright this is definitely rambling sorts of blog, but hear me out.

So today I got a subpoena for court on Wednesday. I swear I didn't do anything wrong this time. Just some thugs stole some phones from T-Mobile and they caught them and I was working that day, so I have to go testify. Blah blah blah. Basically, two of us have to go in. So I inform my supervisor, and it goes up the chain. They come back and say everything's fine, you can take PTO for the time you are in court, BUT you must show up as soon as you get done.

Let me clarify for those who don't know PTO stands for paid time off. We don't have vacation or sick days we simply have PTO. It's nice to be honest I had this system at the YMCA and I love it. But seriously? I have to time time away from my vacation to go testify on behalf of my company. Not to mention court is at 9:00 am and I close that day so it's going to be a 12 hour day for me basically. Well, I immediately called bullshit and looked it up. Of course I am right and they have to give it to me for free, no PTO must be taken. Though, I have a feeling by fighting them on this the next time I want to take PTO they are going to reject it. So we'll see. I just hate how sometimes you get pooped on for doing what you are suppose to. Why do people just try to take advantage of others?

And lastly, as a treat for you Democrats out there, my pic is of Carl Rove getting arrested. To be honest it was the first pic to pop up when I googled. I thought it was a sign!

Multiple Personality Disorder

2009-02-21T17:30:00.001-08:00

I was watching Fight Club this afternoon and it got me thinking.

Each of us in our daily lives wear different hats with different people. To some of my friends, I am a counselor. To other friends, I am the patient (GOD bless them). To some, I am a drinking buddy, or a job reference, or a recipe holder.

My point is we act differently around different people. I act different with a customer than I do with my co-workers. I have a whole different personality when it comes to Kyle than I do with my mom or dad. I'm not saying this is bad in any way, but why do we never give the "real" us to anyone?

So this is an interactive entry.

Ranting & Raving without the X and neon trance dancers

2009-02-19T18:43:00.000-08:00

So I have some points to get off my chest.

1.All aboard the money train. I was reading this other blog that reported 4 fire fighters in San Diego just received $34,300 to be split between then, because of their traumatic exposure while they participated in a 2007 Gay Pride. Did I just hear that correctly? Reparations for straight fire fighters because of lewd comments and sexually charged conduct. None of them were touched or felt threatened. This was the second jury, because the first one was hung. The first time they asked for $1 million each. My question is can I sue T-Mobile when an irate customer yells at me and I feel threatened. Or should I sue any of my former employers for asking me to do my job? HELL NO! Suck it up guys. I hope the appeal gives the money back to the city.

2. Obama's first 30 days.....I realize probably most of my friends are Dem's and would agree or at the least not be offended by my personal comments, but I'm tired of hearing people continually bitch about the money he is planning on spending and how he uses "buzz" words. Of course he uses "buzz" words he's THE public figure for the United States of America. In a state of financial confusion and unrest, a war with no end in site and continual angst among the people, it's his job to try to keep people motivated and positive. Yes, he used the word crisis too much. Is our economic situation fixed? No and it won't be anytime soon. It took us a while to get here. I suppose next time President Obama should schedule a meeting with some of the professors from Hogwarts to figure out the perfect spell and save us all time.

3. I just got off the phone with my lovely cousin Carol. I dearly miss our conversations over a glass of wine (who am I kidding a couple bottles of wine). Our conversation was truly across the board as usual but we hit it heavy when I brought up prejudice tonight. I am still baffled as to how it can be 2009 and hate still surrounds us. Folks, it's still everywhere. I was on the phone with a customer tonight and she asked for someone who speaks American (She was talking to someone of Indian decent and having a hard time understanding him). She didn't ask for someone she could understand better or who speak a more proper English, and to be honest she was 85 and lives in Dayton, Ohio, so as a society we look past her prejudice. my question is, "Is it prejudice or ignorance?" It's simply the latter for me. She didn't know her words would be so harmful. Her everyday life if filled with people who look and speak in similar dialect. Whether she is at the bank, the grocery store, the gas station or the local diner, her life if filled with similar people. She doesn't get on a train filled with different languages or races every day like I do when I go to work. She doesn't have customers on a daily basis she can't help because she doesn't speak their language like I do. I lived that life in Missouri, I know it well. I choose something different. I choose to be work where I am the ONLY white guy. Is her choice wrong and mine is right? Not at all, but i wanted something different. I wanted to learn more from life. She is 85, so let's be honest and say she's not got a lot of time to learn, but we can always learn more each day. So it's up to each of use to educate everyone and learn from them as well. My family is learning tolerance as each day gets easier for them to accept their son, grandson, nephew, cousin, and friend is gay. And each day, I hope I teach them to open their hearts and mind that love comes on different fronts. I do not accept it when people try to argue banning gay marriage. Love and faith are more similar then they are opposing.

Sorry it's so deep today. I'll leave you with a little joke to brighten the mood.

A couple stops at a gas station. The husband is pumping the gas, the wife stays in the car with the windows cracked a little. The husband strikes up a conversation with the biker next to him.

Husband asks, "So where are you headed?"

Biker replies, "Ohio"

The nosey wife, leans over and yells, "What did he say?"

Husband replies, "OHIO"

The husband turns to the biker and asks, "What part?"

Biker replies, "Cincinnati"

The nosey wife chimes in again, "Where did he say?"

Husband relays, "CINCINNATI, dear!"

Biker asks the husband, "Where are you two from?"

Husband replies, "Minnesota"

Biker quietly leans in and in a low voice says, "Not a fan of Minnesota"

"Why?" the husband asks

Biker says, "TO be honest, I had the worst blow job I've ever had in Minnesota. It's the only thing I remember about the place."

The wife leans over and inquisitively asks, "What did he say?"

The husband, without missing a beat says, "I think he knows you honey!"

Be my valentine

2009-02-15T14:02:00.001-08:00

I have never been a huge Valentine's Day kinda guy. I hate being traditional and while it's fine to celebrate love on one specific day it is something that should happen more often than not. So my feelings are mixed between obligation, being a follower and sentiment.

So here was my Valentine's Day weekend.

Friday:

I got off work late but Kyle had ordered pizza then we went to see Slumdog Millionaire. I loved it while he was indifferent.

Saturday:

We both worked. I got off before so I grabbed some beer. We watched some tv then passed out around midnight.

Sunday:

My favorite day. I made breakfast for us. We tried to figure out what to do with both of us at home. With limited budgets we decide to figure out something to do at home. I walked to Home Depot, grabbed some paint came back and we painted the bathroom together.

Romantic? Not so much, but simply put it's just nice to spend my time off together. I love Kyle and my life with him. Thanks for a non-traditional, yet couldn't be better Vday!

Just some bullshit.....

2009-02-14T08:42:00.001-08:00

So here is a typical day in New York. I get up, read blogs and drink some coffee, get ready, go to work, come home, go to bed and then is just recycles over and over. I have recently decided to begin volunteering at the gay center , which has been getting tons od puclicity due to exposure from the Real World. Which makes me feel like people think I am volunteering because of that but trust me I filled out my volunteer aplication months ago. My point is I want to do something because I feel that I bullshit my life right now. Selling phones isn't bad and the benefits are amazing it's just not my thing. I will say NY has taught me that everyone bullshits. If you don't know just act like you do. I just don't feel the same. I don't want to be that New Yorker. I want to be me. So no more bullshitting, it's time to find a job I want.

February is the month of Love

2009-02-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

Well, first let me start out with the fact I felt like dying yesterday. I'm not sure what was wrong with me but night before last I woke up at 4:00 am puking my guts out. Gross huh! I had went to bed with a little stomach ache, but thought nothing of it. I suffered through work yesterday so weak and and tired I could barely stand, holding down only water and gatorade. So I got home last night, chugged a theraflu, popped some sinus headache pills and slept till 8:00 am this morning. It was AMAZING! I am still a bit queazy and have a headache, but getting rehydrated finally. I was able to hold down a PB&J this morning so that was a start.

My point for the blog and the gross story is this. Kyle was amazing yesterday. He kept texting me asking what he can do. He cleaned up the apt, was going to make me dinner, get me medicine, etc. I woke up this morning to find a blog Kyle had written. Now he is unaware currently that I read or know about it. But it was simply an expression of him realizing how much he loves me. Awwwwwww.

So something light and fun today.

Enjoy your humpday!

Subwaynese

2009-02-07T06:34:00.001-08:00

Now I realize I come from a non-cultured atmosphere. I realize that me being a white American in New York means absolutely nothing. In fact, the is one of the reasons I LOVE NYC! For once in my life, I am the minorityAs I sit here on the train on my way to work, I see an Hispanic mother of two completely burnt out and closing her eyes every chance she gets just dreaming of peace and quiet. I see a homeless man who takes up three seats, but nobody says anything to him they just occasionally hand him change and dollars. I see a teenage girl goth on the outside quietly playing on her cell phone. I see a middle aged woman reading her trashy love story with some sort of Fabio-ish half naked on the cover. I see ipods and mp3's, I see mittens and scarves, I see America going about their everyday lives, with an empty void just going through the motions. What happened to change? I just see normality.

Maturing? or Just getting old?

2009-02-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

So I have this memory of my Grandmother, when I used to go stay the night at my grandparents I would wake up early on a Saturday morning to start my day off right watching some cartoons. Low and behold, there my grandmother would sit, in her reading chair with just the lamp on next to her reading away in her latest book in her nightgown. Yes, it's very Cleaver-like, the innocence of small town rural Missouri. She would see I am awake and cook me breakfast, it was AMAZING!!!

I love every minute of my life. I find joy and sorrow bring me to where I am, but why is it once I hit 30 (and I'm only been there 3 months now), I wake up with the sun? My father always barked at me for sleeping in past 9:00 am on a Saturday. "Billy, you've just wasted half your day!" I digress.

What is it about our internal clock that makes the ticker change? What's next? Prostrate exams and mid-night trips to the bathroom?

Rainbows and Butterflies

2009-02-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

So let me first say if you read my list, #1 states I hate conformity. I suppose the more mature (yes that sounds better than older) I get the more I realize to let go and be me. I have to confess I used to "buck" the system just for the fight. To stay original, but I realize I just want to be me now. Sometimes......I will have to submit to the social norms such as the lated fads, including "the 25 things lists".

I have really enjoyed reading these lists. I felt liberated in writing mine and I believe I wasn't the only one who did. People are putting some laughter, compassion, and investing personally in these things. While it's the feel-good movement of today, I also realize it won't last forever. (but I secretly hope something better grabs everyone's attention and draws them in.

Playing Catch Up

2009-01-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

Just posting some pics from things I've seen or visited

Basically I am being lazy and trying to catch up

Random pics of the Manhattan skyline from the ferry.

NYSE Christmas

I think you can figure the last one out

Commercial Shock

2009-01-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

Interactivemale.com - I'm not saying go there, I just wanted to prove I am not crazy!

So I am watching some DVR recordings before work, ok it was the REAL World Brooklyn, you caught me and there it was. Like a huge slap in the face waking me up.

An advertisement for one of those call in phone communities to meet people. Local singles thing. Only it was for gay men. Only in NY! This is definitely years even decades ahead of southwest Missouri.

Home sweet home, where people can live their own lives. It's nice to be in a place where you feel accepted.

Addictions.......don't judge me

2009-01-11T05:54:00.000-08:00

Okay so this is random, but I have some new addictions:

Roasted Pepper Hummus & Ritz crackers

Reading missed connections on craigslist

And don't judge me, but watching the Real World Brooklyn makes me feel like I am home a little bit. It's neat to watch something I know about. It began taping about the same time I arrived here in NY, and it's finally on the air. Not to mention the fact that the Real World House/Warehouse is seriously a 30 min walk or a 5 minute cab ride from my apartment. I suppose it's just neat and a little weird to feel connected to a TV show. I am such a typical American now. lol

I hear hate, and I want to help.........

2008-11-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

As an American, I was very pleased last Tuesday's Presidential election results. While it may not be the choice everyone made, I stand by mine. In the days to follow though, I began to receive emails from friends and family members expressing their views of the election and disapproval. What hit me the hardest was that they were clinging to Prop 8. Mind you....none of them are from California, but their passion behind the emails were of disgust. They were pleased this did not pass. I watched a video clip, which spoke multitudes about Prop 8. Please take time to hear this argument.

"http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27652443#27652443"

Falling back

2008-11-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

So.....yeah.....I have been falling behind on the posts. I have to admit I fell into the fast paced life cycle called NYC. Get up, make some coffee, watch cnn, check my email, bathe, go to work, make a limited amount of money, go home, eat dinner, check my email, watch some DVR, go to bed and do it all over again.

On the occasional day off though, I get the urge to explore the city. Kyle and I have taken a couple trips trying to catch the eye catching change of colors of central park. The first time was ok just not great. The second way.....WAY better.

I love living in NY for a multitude of reasons, but I think these pictures will give you one idea.

The tourist comes out to play.....

2008-09-15T07:22:00.001-07:00

So, Kyle and I went on the Sex and the City Tour yesterday afternoon. Our first big touristy event. We start off at 3:00 on a bus filled with lots of women of course. lol. Our tour guide Stephanie was awesome! She was funny, sarcastic, cheesy and a bit raunchy at time. And she KNOWS her stuff! I am giving you the basics, because really it is inexpensive and worth the entire 3 hour tour.

Stephanie basically points out buildings as we ride in the tour bus, explaining what happened on the show there and then shows a clip so that you can see that building in the show. Our first stop where we get out is the Pleasure Chest. Yes folks, its a sex shop. :) We go in and look around. I think the best part is seeing the older women just giggle as they walk through.

Our next stop is a playground park. Apparently, a celebrity type hub in the Village. Also, home to Magnolia Bakery. Seriously, there was a line of people waiting to get into this bakery. They limit the number of cupcakes you can take as well. It's a bit ridiculous, but they don't make us wait for ours and it was truly the best cupcake I have ever ate in my entire life.

We hop back on the bus, and head around town some more. The last stop takes you to a pub. Where they have pink Cosmos ready for you when you arrive. Now, you do have to pay for these, but they are pretty yummy.

Then you head back and end up at Bryant Park, where the tents were still up from Fashion Week. Also, its only a block from Times' Square.

It was a very good tour and well worth it!

Ok some political information for those out there

2008-09-10T05:28:00.000-07:00

So most of you know, it's clear I am an Obama supporter. First, let me say you can vote for whomever you choose, just get registered and vote people. Take a stand in life instead of riding the fence.

And yes, I am too tired of attack ads from both candidates. Unfortunately, we as a whole are stupid enough to get our information from tv commercials and vote on what we want to hear.

Folks, I have done my research and I urge you to do the same. Now, do I agree with everything Obama wants? Absolutely not! Somedays, I can't even agree with Kyle what to have for dinner. Regardless I have strong opposition to Gov. Palin. She is a very strong woman who has made significant changes in Alaska, but personally (and yes this is just a personal issue) I cannot understand how ANYONE can use their child with special needs as a platform for political gain. It's just utter bullshit to me to be honest! Just do some fact checking on her. Not statements from other Republicans or Fox News, but rather from factual informative sources on what issues you decided are important.

Now onto the heavy stuff. Here is some data I collected from the Census and the US Dept of Labor.

Median Household Income

Reagan Era - an actual growth of 35% with an INCREASE of todays value of $1688 per family annually
Bush Sr. Era - an actual growth of 11% with a decrease of todays value of $1493 per family annually
Clinton Era - an actual growth of 27% with a INCREASE of todays value of $6498 per family annually
Bush Jr. Era - an actual growth of 16% with a decreas of todays value of $324 per family annually

Unemployment Rates

Reagan Era - a decrease from 6.3% to 5.7% = - 0.6%
Bush Sr. Era - an increase from 5.7% to 7.3% = 1.6%
Clinton Era - a decrease from 7.3% to 4.0% = - 3.3%
Bush Jr. Era - an increase from 4.0% to 6.1% = 2.1%

I have enclosed links to both candidates plans.

http://www.barackobama.com/issues

http://www.johnmccain.com/Images/Issues/JobsforAmerica/briefing.pdf

Folks these are hard numbers you cannot manipulate. So make the best decision you can, but make one and Vote November 4th!

The weekend in a nutshell......

2008-09-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

Friday, had an interview in Manhattan. First time there and of all stations I got off of the subway, but Grand Central. It was beautiful but geez so many people. SO MANY PEOPLE! lol We decided to go out that night for the first time. We went to this bar called Excelsor. Way toooo pretentious for us, so after one beer we were out of there. We hop across the street to a place called Gingers. Yes it sounds like a strip club, and maybe with enough liquor it eventually does turn into one, but it was a lesbian bar. It has a Martha's kinda feel to it. Kinda old school, a pool table and nice garden area out back.

That is where we met some amazing and funny ladies. They were a blast, just talking the night away! It was a GREAT first time out on the town! and we were close enough we just walked home.

Saturday we got up and headed to IKEA to kinda map out the apt and get some pricing on everything. First time there, and never wanted to leave. 1. They have a shuttle just a few blocks from our place that picks us up for free and takes us there and back. Now how cool is that? And their kitchens are killer!!!! Basically we price some stuff but came home with a tv stand, coffee table, frying pan, can opener, 2 "green" bags to carry groceries in from the market, a bath mat and a door mat for $30. Now tell me you don't love IKEA now. lol

Saturday we went to the Brooklyn Bridge. I will post some pics it was gorgeous at night! Truly breathtaking and the Manhattan skyline.......mmmmmmm.

Sunday, was a chill day. We ended up going to Coney Island. Now, for the first time I saw white people. Please don't be offended by that, I love the fact that I, casper, am a minority where I live. It is neat to see another's take on that. So of course we had to get a dog from the famous Nathans, watched people play frisbee and volleyball on the beach, saw some cops on horses, and just enjoyed a nice relaxing day out.

Today is just a target day and I'm going to go to Kyle's school to visit the campus and see it. Nothing much, but I will try to keep this updated at least 2-3 times a week. Hope all is well with you!

Just like the Cosby's

2008-08-28T05:44:00.001-07:00

My apologies, I have not kept up. But here is the update. I am in NY! Finally the day has come to be in Brooklyn. It was great to see Kyle once again, and be in my new surroundings.

The apartment is in a GREAT neighborhood! It's quiet at night, in fact we sleep with the windows up. Yes it's that safe! It's small in comparison to the money we pay and what you would get home, but just an adjustment. I mean we are paying for safety folks, this is no joke. lol

Kyle had class the first night so about 2 hours after I arrived I was by myself, so I just took off exploring the neighborhood. So much stuff is available! Fresh markets, and the subway station is 3 blocks away. Now that is amazing!

My legs are tired from walking, and my back hurts from sleeping on an air mattress, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here right now. I'm still in my overwhelming phase, but I have a feeling that is going to go away soon :)

Miss and love you all! Pictures are soon to come.

What a week!

2008-07-31T18:49:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about my amazing week!

I am sitting on my computer Monday morning drinking my coffee, looking up jobs to apply to in NY when I get an email from the Obama Campaign. Barack is coming to SPRINGFIELD! Yes......Springfield, Missouri. So I immediately get on the phone and call a couple people I have volunteered with at the Obama office in town. Nobody is answering their phones. Then I think, well if they just made the announcement today, and tickets are available at 6:00 pm tonight I will just run into the office and help out until it's time to get in line. I mean, I want to be the first to get a ticket.

I run into town (so country huh!) to the office. Staff greets me and I said I was there to help. Well, they definitely needed help. I have spent the last four days organizing and trying to assist the staff for the visit. Wednesday finally comes. I am up a 5:30ish so excited! I am assigned to the will call table. Now understand, people have been camped out all night to get good seats. We get everyone in and moments later he begins his address. I walk in to be abruptly stopped by the Secret Service wall and ushered into the overflow room. I have to admit it was frustrating to work so hard and then not be able to make it in to see him, but I'm a team player. A staff saw me against the wall and within minutes I am rushed into the gymnasium where I get to see him speak. So yes, you can rest easily tonight, I DID get to see Sen. Barack Obama, Presidential Candidate, speak.

Overall, it was just an awesome experience to see the response from Southwest Missouri. It truly does give hope!

The Final Countdown.....

2008-07-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

Well folks, its 30 days to the big move. People always ask are you excited? Well, I am moving from Springfield, Missouri (home of Bass Pro, Brad Pitt and Cashew Chicken) to New York (home of everything else beautiful and divine) it's not a question of being excited. It is a question of can I pull it all together in less than a month?

I am excited, nervous, anxious, and a whole lot of other feelings. But........my friends and family are behind me. We have our support system and I get to start a whole new life and........with Kyle.

What more could I ask for at this point in my life? Okay well the lucky powerball numbers but other than that I am good!

August 27th is creeping up!

My very own NY welcoming party

2008-07-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

So today I got my first taste of the "BIG Apple". I feel I am doing my diligent responsibility as, looking for a place to live. Kyle will be going to NY August 17th, and myself not until 10 days later. Again, I am looking on craigslist.org to see what places I can find.

Today of all days I decide I really liked this place and wanted to know more information. So I give ol' Joe a call. I tell him who I am a 2 second background and what property I am looking at so far so good. He asked me at that point, what questions do you have?" I being going down my list. I ask about measurements of the rooms (hey its a big deal to a Midwesterner like myself). He has no idea what they are but said I can show you when can you stop by. I said, well I live in Missouri. He said well when is your move in date? I reply with well, we are looking around Sept 1st or a little before, see my roommates will be in NY August 17th...........

He interrupts me mid-sentence with, "Well give me a call when you really want to look at this place. I don't have time for this and hangs up."

So I curl in the proverbial fetal position accepting the brutality a Missouri boy will be faced with on the road ahead. Thanks NY, I love you and good night!

Better than any blue light special

2008-07-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

After coming across this today, I want to get some friends together and make a KMART run! Seriously....who's in?

Bittersweet Sundays.

2008-07-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

It wasn't too long ago, I spent most of my Sundays recovering from the weekend. Don't get me wrong the weekends were what kept me going. Today I have that same "Oh CRAP my weekend is over!" feeling I just wished for more. More time in my weekend to spend it with friends and loved ones. But enough sap here's is my thanks yous for the great time!

Well.......it was an amazing weekend! Friends, a wedding, reunions and just basically everything!

Congrats to Deb & David, it was a perfect day to see your uniting. Thank you to everyone for sharing Kyle with me this weekend. It was incredibly nice to be amongst friends and to have my Kyle with me for a few days!

I feel like I am still waiting for his flight to come in at the hotel, but reality says we have to leave in minutes to send him back on his way to camp. Babe, thank you for allowing me to be in your life. I am a better person because of you, I don't know how I got so lucky to have you!

Enjoy your Sunday folks!

2008-07-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

So, this won't be very exciting except to say Kyle originally had a flight leaving Scranton at 5:21pm, not getting into Kc till 10:30 pm Friday. But some seats have opened up on the only other flight (6:05 am), yes they have two flights to chicago (where his layover is) 6:05 am & 5:21 pm. Sooooooooo, i will get to see him sooner it looks like, and thank goodness it has been forever. And when I say forever I mean 6 weeks. So everyone have a great weekend and I'll be back on Monday!

Welcome the Independence Day Redneck Allstar

2008-07-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

My first attempt at a blog and what a better topic than a hillbilly experience. Isn't this what Missouri is all about? No not really. It's a great place don't get me wrong just a funny story. Enjoy........

It's Independence day, 2008, and I'm thinking hell ya, I get to sleep in. I have to go to my step sister's wedding but that's not till 6:00 pm, but wait I get a phone call Thursday afternoon. It's the Springfield Obama campaign wanting to know if I would be interested in helping with voter registration at the Midtown Parade. Yes folks, Springfield has a midtown. Although, I'm not sure of the parameters of "midtown" in the metropolis is, but I'm game.

I wake up with my cell phone in hand (it is my alarm clock don't judge) realizing "OH CRAP!" it's 8:22 am. Apparently, I woke up when my alarm went off at 7:30 am but I don't remember this part. I whirl through the house, start some coffee, hop in the shower, doing 17 things at once and out the door I am at 8:41 am. Close call, but I made it to office at 9:01 am. Whew! That was a close one.

We begin the motorcade for our destination around 9:20 ish. Now, the staff of the Obama campaign are not really from here so we take a few turns we probably shouldn't have but we make it eventually. Everything goes as expected, except one of our fearless leaders coerces us into a trip to Marshfield, Missouri. For those of you who are unaware, its a small town of about 2,000 about 30 minutes east of Springfield, for their 129th annual Independence Day Parade & Celebration around the square. Woot Woot!

We grab a little lunch to replenish and off we go...into the wild blue yonder. What appears at first to be a nice crowd as we begin our voter registration mission, it is apparent that there are approximately 7-10 booths of elected officials running for office and how many do you think are Democrats? 1 Yes just uno!

I'm walking around asking the same question, "Are you a registered voter?" "Are YOU a registered voter?" Then it happens. A guy walks up to me and asks the question of all questions.

Hillbilly: "What are you doing here?"

Me: "Sir, we are just here to register people to vote nothing more nothing less."

Hillbilly: "What do you think you guys are doing here? You don't belong here."

Me: "Sir, we just want to allow everyone the chance to vote."

Hillbilly: "Well, it's time for you all to leave."

Me: "Well sir, you don't really get to choose that for us, this is a public place." and I walk off.

Now, let me stop the story here and give you the recap of what was going on in my head.

Hillbilly: "What the hell are you idiots doing with a black man's button on in these neck of the woods?"

Me: "Well, dumb ass, we are registered more Republicans for you."

Hillbilly: "Too bad the KKK meeting is scheduled for tomorrow cause the boys would love to see this."

Me: "If you would let us register people to vote, they are more likely to vote Republican so leave us alone ass!"

Hillbilly: "Why don't you get the hell out of dodge, we are trying for a peaceful supremacy here"

Me: "Listen, you idiot! We are celebrating Independence Day. Oh you know, it happens about once a year we light up the grills, shoot off some fireworks, spend time with family to celebrate the fact we live in a free society. Sorry to inconvenience your little party but its people like you who continue to rot the world as you teach your children the same idiocracy values. Have a great Day!"

So that's my first encounter with resistance of the Obama campaign here in good ol' southwest Missouri. I'm sure there will be more to come!